Rules. They keep us safe and create order in our lives. From speed limits to the unwritten one of standing in line in a store, they influence & shape the world around us. They are created by society and in personal lives. While society has the rule to stop at a stop sign, a personal one might be to never leave the house without a cell phone and money for a cab. Some rules, like wearing a seatbelt, have stood the test of time and remained, others such as "It is illegal to take a lion to the movies in Baltimore City Maryland" seem quite silly now.
Some personal rules change over time as well. You may have had a rule as a child that all crusts had to be cut off of your sandwiches, while as an adult you like the crust and keep it on. But what happens when the rules no longer make sense and yet you can't change them? One of my rules is that people in my life only get one chance. I don't mean that they can never make a mistake. I mean that if I trust someone and they break that trust my rules don't usually let me give them another chance without some sort of consequence. This rule doesn't always make sense to everyone and certainly doesn't work in every situation. It is both a safety net and a stumbling block for me. Recently I've been stuck in this rule. A trust was broken but I wouldn't choose a consequence. Neither of the usual options were palatable and not choosing didn't seem like an option either so I got stuck in a holding pattern. The more I've thought about it, the more it reminds me of bamboo. Bamboo can be beautiful and provide beautiful landscaping, however it is an invasive species. Once planted, it sends out a complicated system of roots as far and as fast as it can. Many a homeowner has found, to their detriment, that just cutting it down or pulling up the roots won't get rid of bamboo once it is established. My rules are the same way. So now the trick is to figure out not only what rules no longer work but also how to get rid of them, roots and all.
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